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I have learned that you cannot make

someone love you.  All you can do is

 stalk them and hope they panic and give in. 

 

I have learned no matter how much I care,

some people are just assholes. 

 

I have learned that it takes years

to build up trust, and it only takes

 suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. 

 

I have learned that you can get by

 on charm for about fifteen minutes.

  After that, you’d better have a big,

 willy are huge boobs.

 

I have learned that you shouldn’t

 compare yourself to others – they are

 more screwed up than you think. 

 

I have learned that you can keep vomiting

 long after you think you’re finished.

 

 

I’ve learned that we are responsible

for what we do, unless we are celebrities. 

 

I’ve learned that regardless of

how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,

the passion fades, and there had better

be a lot of money to take its place!

 

I’ve learned that 99 % of the time when

 something isn’t working in your house,

 one of your kids did it.

 

I’ve learned that people you care most

about in life are taking from you too soon

and all the less important ones never go away. 

 

Pass this along to friend s….

Trust me, they’ll appreciate it.

 

Who knows, maybe

something good will happen

 

 

If not…tough shit